1) Career Direction
In our society, we generally don’t spend a ton of time with our children trying to find out what their unique gifts are. Our parents didn’t have the tools, so they couldn’t be passed on. When current young adults get to college or beyond, they often have a very stressful time finding a job or career that suits them. However, despite this dilemma, this generation is still changing the framework for the future in a positive way; one of the ways is through coaching.
One thing I love about working with the millennial generation is that they like to work hard (like generations before them) but they are not willing to sacrifice their happiness in exchange. Fortunately, coaching helps build the skills to have both! Also, often individuals from this generation may obtain an entry-level job, but do not find the experience enjoyable. It can be frustrating and cause conflict in oneself. All of these experiences are normal. Learning to navigate this space can lead to an incredible release of tension and in turn, strengthen one’s skills for job performance and landing positions that are better suited to each person. Let’s figure out “who” you are. It is easier figuring out where to sit if you already feel confident about the bus you’ve chosen to get you where you want to go. This is life, let’s enjoy the ride!
2) Boundaries in Relationships
So many different scenarios are wrapped up in the concept of “boundaries in relationships” that I will mention just a few instances that come up in the coaching process. Often times, young women are not only trying to find their own voice but also have the voice of their parents playing over in their heads, as well. Feeling two different versions of “what is right for you” can cause inner conflict. On the surface, it can feel like a constant stressor or like carrying around extra weight. It can also manifest as sadness and anger if it goes unchecked. These feelings can cause not only inner turmoil but also outer conflict with the people in one’s life. The moment I look forward to most when coaching young women through these obstacles is seeing the relief they feel when they regain their sense of control, without feeling guilty for experiencing personal growth. They also discover how to communicate these desires and perspectives to others, which allows those boundaries to be reinforced.
Some clients also struggle with figuring out how to find their voices in the workplace. There is any number of conversations with managers and co-workers that did not go the way a young woman had hoped, partly due to a lack of confidence in and knowledge of her own voice. This problem is fed by a vicious cycle of stress, created by a feeling of being disrespected, or feeling like she cannot contribute to the group. Through coaching, we work on understanding what new patterns of communication look like and how to build up to using them in real life. Your confidence will begin to take off when you have small but mighty victories.
3) Leadership in the Workplace
Learning their own strengths gives young women tremendous power and agency to become leaders in their current roles. It doesn’t matter if you consider yourself an extrovert or introvert; each of us has the power to live in our personal strengths and use them to create a powerful work environment. When you start this journey for the first time, others around you may take notice, seeing the changes in you, before even you do. So pay attention to your interactions with your friends, family, and co-workers; your growing confidence will be reflected in their faces.
I often remind my clients of this quote: “Beginnings are great; we all have to start somewhere.” This is one very exciting journey and I cannot wait to share it with you!
4) Reducing Stress
We living in a day and age where we think having stress is a normal thing. I would say we all carry some stress that is just based on the current condition of the world. However, while there are many things that may cause us stress—not all of them are completely out of our control to rationalize and process. One of my gifts as a coach is to help others reduce this stress. I also have seen clients who practice stress-reducing strategies get to the point that they can handle stress as it is happening. This is a very powerful skill because it greatly reduces the buildup of stressors and their influence on us—an influence that can be highly draining if left to run amok. Just imagine what you could do if you were not being held back by stress? How far could you go? How high could you soar? What might you achieve if you wanted it bad enough? It may be hard to imagine this right now, but take a moment to explore the “what ifs” and try to envision truly going after your goals under the weight of far less fear, panic, and doubt.
Also, know I’m confident in the coaching process and I know how to help each unique individual get to a better space. There is nothing more beautiful than seeing a young woman who experiences stress daily, strutting confidently down a road towards being free of those triggers. It’s freeing and energizing… Honestly, it is freaking magical.
5) Dating and Relationships
At my core, I love helping people with relationships and the quest for their unique mate. Over time, I have learned several things that go into helping others find someone that compliments them. It’s a process of learning “who” you are first and what you bring into any relationship. Once that has been achieved, then we begin working on identifying your unique needs and how to see if those needs can be fulfilled in a given relationship. We may reflect on the past in order to find the gems of learning buried in those experiences—which we will then use to create a future you desire. You might currently be feeling hopeless in this process, but believe me, with a new awareness in this area, you will feel more confident and trust yourself as you explore new relationships. Plus, if you have a history of “crashing and burning,” as some might say, you will benefit even more from the coaching process, as it is the perfect vehicle to identify and break negative patterns, and then create new ones. There is no better time to get on track than now.
6) Getting Comfortable in Your Own Skin
If you don’t feel confident in your body, mind, and spirit, you are definitely not alone. It’s often exhausting feeling like the world is judging you…simply for being you. There are some amazing discoveries that come from the coaching process that can change that draining energy into energy that feeds your body, mind, heart and spirit. This part of the process can take time; it’s one of the reasons that I have clients commit to at least 12 weeks of working together. After several weeks of coaching, you will start to feel differently.
To me, it is a lot like a bird in a cage. Someone can open the door, but they first need to show the bird how to leave and let it know that it is safe to do so. It is so powerful when the bird realizes and truly accepts that it is free and takes that important leap. Trust me, you can fly too.
7) How to Handle All These Feelings
We all having feelings. Really, we do. Some of us may feel like we have more than others. This sensation can be doubly difficult to process if people along your path have told you that you have “too many” feelings or try to dictate to you how you “should” feel. These are common experiences, and while they can be painful and generally unpleasant, they can also be used to help us understand our own humanity. Of course, we feel. It is part of what makes us people.
I love to study emotions and their purpose in our lives. I help people understand, leverage, and feel through them to the other side. Often society seems to think that emotions are an affliction, but over time, I believe we each can find a productive purpose for having them. In the coaching process, we may also look at personality types and how they impact how we process emotions.
I’ve got a toolbox full of useful ways to work with and through feelings. Let’s get a handle on them together.