Working with young women resonates with me. I think this is partly because I understand exactly where they are at, having already walked the path they are on—and am, in fact, still walking it, putting one foot in front of the other (as is the only way to traverse life). Knowing this, I wanted to share what makes working with young women so unique. Not only are these crises of identity close to my heart, having encountered them in my own life, but they are also situations to which the coaching process really brings clarity.
With clarity you can move mountains.
“Let me be myself.” We often feel we need permission to be ourselves. Women, in particular, seem to be given advice a lot growing up—a phenomenon which, sadly, continues even into adulthood. They are rarely asked what they think is best for them. As a result, when it comes to making decisions, the first voice a woman hears in her head is not her own, but rather, her parent’s. Furthermore, while this voice may often be loving, it is also highly fearful and protective. This internal struggle leads to conflicting ideas of who a woman is as an individual, as well as an inability to make concrete decisions. My job is to help put the power back into a woman’s hands and show her the capacity of her own inner voice. Helping someone discover their identity is one of the most powerful experiences I have ever been blessed to be a part of.
“I’m not good enough.” The giant pitfall to the inner critic inside of us is that this voice affects every aspect of a person’s life. That critical opinion shapes who we choose as a partner, what job we seek out and how we perform in it, how we let others treat us, and—most importantly—how we treat ourselves. This is one of the hardest pieces of identity to examine in coaching. However, once movement shakes out and away from the confines of the inner critic, a persons truth starts to emerge, Then clients can start to experience an immense release: of joy, power and relief.
“People have power over me.” This is where those around us are given more weight over deciding what we should do than we give ourselves. Often, I find myself working with a woman who has chosen a particular path—one that is actually in line with her best interests, her intuition, and well-thought-out planning—and then she talks to one person who doubts what she has chosen to do. Just like that, she is crushed. She loses sight of her path, and the purpose and enjoyment she had found is completely overshadowed by the voice of a single person, who often believes they are protecting them by sharing their fears. This experience can be disheartening and traumatic to the formation of a woman’s identity. Nevertheless, I find that when a person does have to undergo such a trial, learning how to get back on track can become a wonderful opportunity for self-discovery and growth.
“I don’t know what I’m good at.” When you don’t know your own unique strengths, it is hard to find happiness in a career. Generally, career coaching is a small part of what I do, but often times, this topic comes up as we explore who we really are. We need to feel that we have purpose in this world—it is just that many of these talents haven’t been realized yet. I help uncover them.
These are just a handful of the concerns that get brought to me daily. I thoroughly enjoy the partnership born from helping make these important discoveries in a woman’s life. This work together can become a foundation for a lifetime of decisions, relationships, and a legacy of future progress.